Fatass
by snuggled
Summary: He was the only one allowed to call him a fatass; he was also the only one who never had to catch himself from saying it. ShikaChou loff; can be yaoi if you squint hard enough. COMPLETE


Remember in my other Naruto fanfic I said I had an urge to write ShikaChou loff? Well, here it is. It's nice and simple. I was actually looking up all the stories they have for Chouji, and I'm appalled at the number of InoChou stories out there.

Ino?

_Really_?

Chouji can't handle someone as shallow as her; he needs someone more kind and gentle, like Hinata. D: What's up with all the ChouIno love? How can any of you people _like_ her paired with _anybody_? I swear Kishimoto added her in there specifically for being Sakura's rival in love/best friend and in Sasuke's fan club. Anything out of that small space breaches her character. I can't believe how many stories I see of peeps going completely against their characters. (Like Ino suddenly realizing she's not in love with Sasuke, or Sasuke suddenly realizing he doesn't hate his brother, or Neji actually having a _soul_. Hell, even Orochimaru suddenly being a nymphomaniac!)

What is _wrong_ with fandom these days, honestly? Especially with an anime like Naruto! I mean, certain shows I can understand going against characters just a little, but Naruto's great for the fact that it develops almost every character so well and in such great detail (excluding Tenten and the Akatsuki) that there's really no room for error, and even getting that character slightly OC isn't stretching it a bit. (As in the characters are so well-scripted that they are extremely realistic. As opposed to the countless amounts of shoujo-manga/anime in which the main character can do no wrong. Can we say Fruits Basket?)

Hmmm…I'm going to go stew over this for a while and see if I come up with anything profound.

(Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but this subject has always been a touchy one for me.)

Summary: He was the only one allowed to call him a fatass; he was also the only one who never had to catch himself from saying it. ShikaChou friendship loff; can be yaoi if you squint hard enough.

I forgot what game they played in detail, so I sorta changed it into hide-and-seek, which is what it _technically_ was even though they called it playing ninja. Besides, this makes way more sense than them finding them and the game being over immediately. Even though that's more like ninjas than the ninjas in the show.

As for the names:  
Kazuharu could be read as "Spring Wind," if you wanted to translate every name into English, that is.

When he says Debuji, he's taking Debu, the Japanese slang meaning "fatty", and mixing it into Chouji's name, therefore calling Chouji fat once again. It's like fatass, only not as powerful of an insult.

(Ha ha, I was listening to Prince as I wrote this story.)

* * *

"**Fatass"  
**

It was about the third or fourth time Shikamaru had watched the clouds with him from that spot they both loved so much. He never asked for any chips, and ever since the first time, he'd only refused when Chouji would offer. Chouji looked at his precious best friend, smiling at him shyly and stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth before he went and said something stupid.

Shikamaru's eyes were narrow, like he couldn't keep himself awake. "You wanna say something, Chouji?"

That was what was so great about Shikamaru–he was just as attentive as he was observant.

Chouji turned bright pink, fumbling with his bag of chips and stuttering. "W-Well, no… I just…er…"

Shikamaru simply shrugged, staring at those clouds like always. "S'okay. I'm not that hungry."

And there it was again–Shikamaru always knew what was on his mind. Four days and he already knew exactly what he was going to say before he said anything. His father had said there was nothing more special than a friend you could sit in silence with, and he was just beginning to see how true that was.

For a long, long while they sat there, until finally he found the last chip at the bottom of the bag. He looked over at Shikamaru only to find him sound asleep. He blinked, watching him for a moment before he placed the chip back in the bag, placing the bag on Shikamaru's chest. If there was one thing _he_ like, it was eating after he woke up, and he'd be damned sure Shikamaru got that satisfaction.

"Sweet dreams, Shikamaru," he caught himself mumbling.

He left, climbing down the ladder carefully and down the steps of the building, going home.

–––––––––––––––

The next day, all of the children were back to their usual games. For the past four days, he and Shikamaru had sat out, he'd go up to their cloud-watching spot and he'd find him sitting there, so he'd opt to stay there with him. Today, however, Shikamaru was nowhere to be found, which meant if he wanted to go do something, he'd have to go play with the other village kids.

They were huddled up in their circle as he approached, and as he did so, he saw Shikamaru walking towards him. "Hey, Shikamaru!" He called out emphatically, earning stares from the other boys he was walking towards.

Shikamaru glanced at the other boys before hurrying over to Chouji, grabbing his sleeve. "Come on, Chouji. These games are too troublesome."

As they started off, one of the boys–the oldest in the group, Kazuharu–burst out laughing. "Hey, if it isn't Debuji! Running away from us, fatass? You better go–you'd just mess all of us up anyway!"

Chouji felt his eyes turning to the ground and he spun around to them, opening his mouth weakly. Before anything could dance off his tongue, he felt a hand on his shoulder and Shikamaru spoke–

"How's about me and fatass take all of you on, then…eh, Kazuharu?"

Chouji turned to Shikamaru, protesting gently. "Sh-Shikamaru, I don't…"

"Alright then, Shikamaru! But I'm warning you–don't think I'll go easy on you because Debuji's on your team!"

The other boys started to laugh, and Shikamaru held out his finger, pointing at them, as he tightened his grip, putting an arm around Chouji's shoulders protectively. "You're on. Don't cry when you lose. How about we do the hiding this round?"

The boys agreed and Shikamaru grabbed Chouji's sleeve, dragging him into a nearby alley. They hid behind a bunch of crates, and Shikamaru spoke low, clear and fast. "Alright, Chouji, here's what we'll do: You stay here and I'll hide behind those crates up there–" He pointed to a few barrels lying around a few feet closer to the main market street. "If they go toward you first, I'll sneak up behind them and cause a distraction When that happens, you run straight for the market pole, got it? I'm counting on you."

In a flash he ran behind the barrels, and Chouji waited. How come Shikamaru never said anything about if they came after him first? Was it _that_ obvious they'd go after him? A few moments later, a few children came into the alley, searching fervently. They glanced at the barrels, grinning to themselves and going straight for the crates, as if they knew he was right there.

There were three of the five there, and one of the boys spotted him, letting out a holler. "Found him, guys! He's behind the crates!" The other two ran to catch up with him, and Chouji stood up, not knowing when Shikamaru would step in.

When they were mere inches from grabbing him, Shikamaru ran up behind them, kicking up dust and causing them to start coughing and stumbling around blindly. "Chouji, run!" He shouted, and Chouji did just that.

He ran as fast as he could, making it to the market square. He didn't know if Shikamaru was behind him or not, and for a split second he looked back to check up on him. Shikamaru was still in the alley, tripping them as they dashed toward the street.

"Too slow, Debuji! I knew he'd do something to help you out!"

He whirled around to see Kazuharu standing there, grinning at him. As the kid reached his hand out, he heard a whirl and a flash of dark as Shikamaru practically flew to his side. He pushed him over, into the market pole that was designated as "Safe" and Kazuharu grabbed those black locks of his and nearly ripped them out in frustration. Shikamaru glared at the other boy, more upset by the fact that he'd been outsmarted than the fact that his hair had nearly been ripped out.

Kazuharu got over his disappointment and just laughed victoriously. "See! This is what happens when you play with a fatass, Shikamaru!" He spun around to Chouji, glowering darkly. "You may be safe, but half of your team got tagged, so we still win this round." He turned back to Shikamaru. "It's our turn to hide. Hope you don't _trip_ up."

It was a well known fact that whenever it was time for the team Chouji was on to do the searching, Chouji always tripped and landed flat on his face…and more than half of his teammates. This, in turn, would give the other team the chance to get to the safe spot quickly, and they'd lose.

Shikamaru smiled, stepping back to Chouji, muttering coolly, "Yeah, and don't throw a tantrum when Chouji's caught you."

Chouji looked back at Shikamaru nervously, feeling his cheeks reddening. There was no way he could get Kazuharu: he was even faster than the Inuzuka boy.

Kazuharu scoffed, looking at all of his friends like the two nerds in front of them were crazy. "Like he'd be able to catch a snail crawling down the road!" They all burst out laughing, and Shikamaru just shrugged his shoulders.

"We'll see."

Shikamaru shut his eyes, immediately counting. The boys swore and started dashing off to their hiding spots. When he was sure they'd gone, Shikamaru lowered his voice and looked at Chouji. "These guys all hide in the same places. I've played with them enough times to figure out their patterns. Do what I say and we'll beat these guys for sure. Here's what we'll do: You run around the back and round up any that are hiding back there. Herd them into the alley and chase them out. Whatever happens, _don't_ let Kazuharu do that annoying leap-frog jump of his."

Chouji nodded dumbly, not knowing if this would do any good–after all, they'd gotten caught before. He waited for Shikamaru to finish, but he never did. Was he really not worth it to explain plans in detail to? He made an effort to open his mouth and voice his opinion; however, when Shikamaru shouted "Zero!", he shut his mouth and went dashing back behind the building, around the other side of the alley, just as Shikamaru had told him to.

Two boys jumped out from behind some trashcans on the side of the street and ducked into the alley, and Chouji chased them down. As he reached the crates, he saw the rest of the boys dash out, away from him. His chest was heaving, but he refused to let Shikamaru down.

One boy swore and ran back down the alley, back his way: It was Kazuharu.

"Damn!" The older boy exclaimed, "That idiot ambushed us!" He caught sight of Chouji, and his frown turned into a condescending grin. The set-up was perfect, and Chouji was always the perfect target, the perfect spring board. Chouji could see it; like Shikamaru knew what he was going to say before he said it, he _knew_ that look in the boy's eyes. He'd seen it so many times before:

It was his leap-frog jump.

Behind Kazuharu, he saw Shikamaru dashing into the alley. Shikamaru gasped as Kazuharu neared him. Chouji winced, whirling around to make it as less painful as possible.

Kazuharu jumped. Shikamaru screamed. "Chouji! You dropped your chips!"

Chouji's eyes shot open, and he looked around in a split second. He could feel Kazuharu's foot digging into his back as the older boy put all of his weight down to bounce off and onto the wall so he could bounce onto the roof and get away.

"In front of you!" Shikamaru yelled.

In an instant, Chouji's hand shot out for the chips…but instead of a bag, his hand grabbed something thick and quivery. His arm closed around it, and he was jerked forward as Kazuharu went tumbling to the ground, his ankle caught behind him.

Chouji looked up in a daze, letting go of the object in his hand. Those weren't his chips at all–it was Kazuharu's ankle. The older boy swore again, twisting onto his back and grabbing at his knee, which was now bleeding profusely.

Shikamaru ran over toward them, and he grabbed Chouji by the shoulder, grinning. "I told you to watch out for his leap-frog jump!" Chouji turned to him, stunned speechless, and his friend began to laugh. "You got him, Chouji!"

Kazuharu swore, limping up to his feet. "Damn it, Shikamaru! I'll outsmart you next time!"

Shikamaru just gave him a cold look. "Does it sting losing to a _fatass_? Let that be a lesson to you–no one's useless, no matter who it is."

Kazuharu just shot him a dirty look and went limping back to the market square. Chouji looked at his friend, and Shikamaru looked back at him, giving him a small smile. "You didn't bring any chips with you today. It was my turn to bring some, remember? What'd you think you'd grab by sticking your arm out like that, anyway?"

Chouji sputtered. "I thought… I thought I'd grab the…the chips I…dropped…"

His friend started to laugh again, and soon Chouji's laughter joined it. They walked back to their cloud-watching spot, and Shikamaru munched on the chips he'd brought that time. Chouji smiled, watching the blue, blue sky and the white, fluffy clouds. Long into the day they watched the clouds, until the sky turned orange and the clouds turned pastel blues and pinks and purples.

Shikamaru glanced back at Chouji, handing him the bag. "I left you some."

Chouji smiled, taking it and eating some chips eagerly. "That's my line, you know."

Shikamaru laughed. "I know, I know."

Chouji smiled, reaching into the bag and grabbing a handful to hide his beet red face. As he munched on the chips, he stared at the boy in front of him, watching the clouds and feigning disinterest. "Shikamaru, how'd you…" He trailed off, knowing it was probably a stupid question. He didn't need to know how Shikamaru knew they'd win so easily.

Shikamaru glanced back at him, his face bland, his eyes alert. "When I watch people as often as I do, it becomes easy to see how they'll react. Like you–I knew you'd freak when you heard you'd dropped your chips, even though you didn't even have any with you. You watch me pretty often, right? Didn't you know I'd be right behind you? Why'd you hesitate in the first round like that?"

Chouji turned red, shrugging his shoulders anxiously. "I… Well, it was three against one… I thought you might be outnumbered…"

Shikamaru chuckled, looking back up at the sky. "You're a great friend, Chouji."

He nodded, burying himself in his chips again. "You, too…"

Shikamaru was a special sort of friend. He was the only one who could call him a fatass without leaving a stinging wound behind. It was there, underneath the fire-lit sky, that Chouji found in Shikamaru not just a friend but a comrade–a brother–as well.


End file.
